How to Be a Good Hunter

It's hunting season.  {groan}

I intensely dislike hunting season.  Not because I'm a "hunting widow" or because I don't like the sport.

I intensely dislike hunting season because of stupid hunters.

Let me share some tips on how to be a good hunter:

1.  Do not park on roadways and hunt from your vehicle.  It's illegal, rude and dangerous.  And if I have to drive in the ditch to get around your oversized SUV, you can be sure I will remember it and you won't be getting access to my land.

2.  Do not come knocking on our door before dawn to ask if you can hunt.  This request needs to be made at a MINIMUM of the day before.  Which leads me to...

3.  Form relationships with landowners.  We have hunters from West Virginia who have hunted at THE FARM for 25 years.  They talk to us.  They listen.  They ask if they can help with anything.  They offer game.  They came to our basketball and football games.  They became friends.  You can be assured, these men can hunt on our land forever.

4.  Ask landowners what they would like in return.  All my dad wanted was a pheasant each year for my mom to cook.  Other farmers have different requests.  Ask them and then do it.

5.  If you think you are entitled to hunt on my land because the government is supporting farmers and you pay taxes, I am entitled to go to your basement and watch your TV because I bank at the same bank that financed your mortgage.

6.  When I say "no", you should not ask "Why not?".  I don't have to tell you that my husband will be hunting this weekend or that I already have a party out there hunting or the last two parties didn't get anything.  You should just say "thank you" and "have a nice day".  (I should also add that you shouldn't ask to talk to my husband or my dad.)

7.  When I tell you who owns the land you're asking about, you should not complain about having to drive 4 miles back the way you came to ask the proper person for permission.  Especially if you've driven all the way from Wisconsin...

8.  Pick up your trash.  Really.  All of it.

9.  Don't shoot toward livestock or buildings.  I've had shots ping off of the quonset when I've been working in the area.

10.  I want you to hunt.  I want you to enjoy yourself.  And if you're bringing a young person along...you're chances that I'll let you hunt just went up to 100%.