How We Met - Her Version

I am often asked how Hubby and I met.  And because neither one of us was in the witness protection program, I can tell you how it happened.

The rule in my parents' house was "no dating until you're sixteen".  Come December 7th, 1992, I was ready.  Only one problem, I was born with man-repellant.  And not just any man-repellant.  A man-repellant so strong that no one could penetrate it.  For almost 13 years, I repulsed every male of the species.  I lived in a small town and commuted to the big city to work in a school with older married teacher and then an office building where only 10% of the workforce were men.  I went to a church where I was the youngest person by twenty years. I wasn't sure where I was supposed to meet Mr. Eligible, let alone Mr. Right.

Fast forward to summer 2005, my brother had been trying internet dating and he suggested I give it a try.  I told him, "Internet dating is desperate and sad."  He said, "Then it's perfect for you!"  (Never one to mince words, that brother of mine.)  Plus, the Christian site he was on was running a special:  six months for $35.  And I'd done dumber things with $35.  

So I filled out the form and clicked "Submit" and (as my sister called it) went man-shopping.  The first thing you learn about internet dating is that there are crazies out there.  Oh yes, siree!  But you also learn to spot them pretty quick.  And run for the hills. 

About a month into my shopping experience, I received a "flirt" from a guy in ND.  This was exciting, a local!!  I accepted and sent one back.  We messaged a couple of times.  Then one evening, we were both online and he sent me a chat request.  And we chatted for three hours.  He asked me if I could drive a tractor, a stick shift and a truck.  Yes.  Yes.  And yes.  Then he asked me what color tractors I liked.  

This was the make it or break it question.  

I typed G-R-E-E-N and held my breath.

He replied, "Good."

Whew!

A couple more evenings of chatting online and he asked me if I had a phone.  And, because I think if you're going to ask a stupid question you should get a stupid answer, I typed, "Yes, but it's down at the livery and we all share it."

Then he typed, "Does that phone have a number?"  I gave him my number and he told me when he would call.  

That first phone call lasted for four hours.  We both grew up in farming families.  We both were close with our families.  We both had our own homes and dogs.  We both were Christ-loving Methodists.

But I still hadn't seen a picture of him.  I posted my picture on my profile because I wanted any potential suitors to know exactly what they were getting.  He was an international man of mystery.

So I asked him to email me a picture.  And as I waited for the picture to download and open, this was my prayer, "Dear God, don't let him be weird."

And this is what I saw:

I breathed a sigh of relief.  Thank goodness he wasn't weird!!  (Some of you may find a man grinning while holding a frozen Northern Pike to be weird.)

We had been chatting and talking on the phone and emailing for about six weeks when he made his move.  He suggested that we meet for supper in the big city.  We agreed upon the day and time and location.  And then we savored the anticipation of our first meeting.

The night before the big date, I went out to eat with my parents.  Since I was always honest with them, I told them I had a date the next night.  My mom got all excited.  Apparently, when you're 28 and going out on your first date, it causes some great excitement in your mother.  "Who is he?  Do we know him?"  She leaned forward with barely contained joy.  I replied, "No, you don't.  I met him online."  She heaved a huge sigh and looked heavenward and said, "I had hoped it wouldn't come to this."

Thank you for the vote of confidence.

We had agreed to meet at a truckstop on the edge of the big city because he didn't know how to get around in town (still doesn't, truth be told).  He was late, 35 minutes late.  But he called me to let me know that he was still coming but he couldn't decide what shirt to wear and he had to pull over and take a nap so he wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel.  (still has these problems, truth be told again)

He pulled into the parking lot, wearing a green plaid button down shirt, and climbed into my vehicle.  He shook my hand and said, "Hi, I'm Hubby."  (OK, he didn't really SAY "Hubby", he said his real name which I am not at liberty to reveal)

We went to a riverside restaurant.  He paid for dinner (and still has the receipt) and then we walked along the river for another three hours.  

It was a beautiful fall night, very much like last night, exactly seven years ago last night that we met in that parking lot, shook hands, and walked together.

And I'm so glad he wasn't weird...

School Lunch Soapbox - Behind the Scenes

I used to be a teacher.  My mom was a teacher.  I have a lot of friends that are teachers and work in schools.  Over the past 6 weeks or so, my main question has been "How's school lunch going this year?"

The answer is surprisingly consistent:  "It's not too bad.  But we're not following the guidelines exactly."

I ask what they mean by that.

For the most part, school lunch programs in our rural state are:
1.  Still offering seconds without charging the students.
---I'd like you to tell the German ladies at my local school that they can't give the football players another helping on Fridays.  Frankly, I'd like to see the showdown that would have happened between my brother (the 4 year starter on both offensive and defensive lines) and our beloved head cook Deb if she wouldn't have been able to give him seconds on TaterTot hotdish.

2.  They are not following portion sizes on each item.
---The hardest one to source is a slice of bread that is the right size.  Although there are some vendors that are making this available, for those schools that still bake their own, this one is tricky.  The other difficult item to size is meat.

3.  They are serving more protein.
---Do you know what 2oz of meat looks like?  Aimee at Everyday Epistle shows you.  Again, I can tell you that a single chicken leg or meatball would not have satisfied my brother, or me, for that matter!

4.  They are still serving dessert.
---Yes, you read that right.  Every couple of days or so the students have the option of a small cookie or piece of cake.  {insert gasp here}  Some of my contacts even said, "We'd be in so much trouble if we got audited."

What else are our rural schools seeing through the lens of the new school lunch menu?
1.  There are more fruits and vegetables on the plates.  But...

2.  There is also more waste.  A lot more waste.
---Hubby and I were discussing how we could economically feed some pigs over the winter without the fresh pasture that they love and that supplements 20-50% of our feed bill.  I need to make a deal with some schools to take all these wasted fruits and vegetables!

3.  Kids are complaining of being hungry in the afternoon.  Some schools have snack programs and others do not.  The snack is usually a fruit or vegetable.

4.  Parents have started packing snacks, and even supplemental lunches, to help their kids get through the day.

What's going on in your schools??  Feel free to comment anonymously if you need to.

10 Things I Learned At My Own Auction Sale

As you may recall, I've been preparing for an auction sale of my parents' stuff for MONTHS now.  This past Saturday was A-Day.  I survived to share with you the 10 Things I Learned At My Own Auction Sale:

1.  Do not get between women and boxes of fabric, pattern books, buttons and other craft items.
---My mom was an elementary teacher by day and professional crafter by night.  To say we had a lot of craft items would be an understatement.  Someone suggested to me that I should be keeping mom's craft and sewing stuff as I have children who would like to make things.  I informed them that if I, my three children, and my husband were to craft 24/7/365, we would still have stuff 10 years later.  Frankly, I was really worried that I would be hauling all that stuff back home.  For I have been to auctions that fabric (when it sold) went for a dollar a box!  Such was not the case on Saturday.  These women came to buy and they would not leave empty handed.  The first boxes of fabric went for $40 and she bought three of them!  I almost fainted.

2.  Do not get between woodturning men and their tools.
---My dad was a master woodturner and a member of Dakota Woodturners for many years.  Two of his best friends in the club came up on Wednesday to help us sort wood and tools and to make sure that all of the machines had all the parts they needed.  These guys know their tools and they know wood, we couldn't have put it together without them!  One of the first things to sell was 6 flats of my dad's woodturning tools.  And because he was a master, they were well used.  In my mind I'm thinking, "People won't pay much for used tools."  Boy, was I wrong!  The bidding was fast, furious and high.  Again, I almost fainted.

3.  My church ladies have still got it!
---My home church (and I use that term literally, I grew up in that church with those people) ladies served the lunch at the sale.  And what a lunch it was!  My kids and husband ate lunch at least twice.  I gave Kiddo1 6 quarters at the start of the day and said, "If you want a bar or some water, give Kathy 2 of your quarters and she'll help you pick something out."  I think her money was gone by 11am.  The food was plentiful and delicious...and just like I remember it!

4.  Resist the urge to bid on things at your own sale.
---I love going to auction sales.  When I was single, it was my weekend entertainment.  If I was headed north, I'd pick up my dad and we'd go together.  I have bought a lot of stuff at sales and love bidding.  So it was very difficult for me to stand at an auction and not buy something.  I thought at times, "Oh, that's pretty and that's a good price, I should get it."  And then I stopped myself from raising my hand out of habit.  "This is YOUR STUFF, keep your hand down!"

5.  When you turn your back for a minute, your kids will get into someone's purchase and break something.
---Thankfully, it was my mom's best friend and she just laughed and assured me it was just fine.  (One GIANT sigh of relief right there.)

6.  Do not get between women and "fancy work".
---Both of my grandmothers did a LOT of handwork.  (See, I come by my obsession honestly.  I can't help it, it's genetic.)  My maternal grandmother lived in town and therefore had a LOT more time in which to produce crocheted items.  We'll use the word prolific.  I kept what I wanted and then sold boxes and boxes and boxes of linens, doilies, lace edging, etc.  My goodness!  That was just for my cast-offs, what would they have done for the good stuff??

7.  Sale day was a happy day.
---So many people, including my own mother, asked me if I was going to be OK.  If I was sad or upset to see all the things being sold.  Nope!  Do you know when I was sad and upset?  When I was eyeball deep in boxes and there was no end in sight.  That's when I struggled.  I was so tickled that all of those things were finding new homes that I just about did a jig.  (But I didn't, because that would have surely drove away some buyers...)

8.  If you need furniture, go to an auction!
---I should have remembered that I outfitted my pre-Hubby home with auction sale furniture for cheap.  Dressers, bed, tables, couches.  Man, go to an auction!  I gave away a dresser with mirror after the auction because I didn't want to move it home.

9.  An almost empty house never looked so good.
---My sister came home to help me for two days.  When I showed her my parents room that now only contained three pieces of furniture, she went up to the north wall and said, "I don't think I've ever touched this wall!"  And she walked through the entrance and said, "I don't think this has ever echoed!"  It was an entirely different, and much larger, house sans 40 years of accumulated stuff.

10.  We couldn't have done it without our friends.
---We had so much to move into the sale site.  Mountains of stuff.  Boxes upon boxes.  Bundles and bundles.  Large tools.  Furniture.  I put out the call for help to our home church family, friends and neighbors to come at 1pm on Wednesday.  My hope was that we could move it all that day, but I didn't know.  There was just so much.  But our friends started arriving at 9:30.  Clark came and said, "I came early, I figured you could use some extra help."  I almost kissed him.  Lori arrived at 10:30, "Let's get started."  I lost track of when everyone else got there, but we were in full swing by 1.  Pickups, trailers, vans and cars all loaded up and came into town and were unloaded by a flurry of willing hands and strong backs.  And we were done by 5:30!  I couldn't believe it.  But then I could, because this is community that I came from.  We help each other.  It's what we do.  Hubby and I would still be moving boxes if we tried to do it on our own.  I'm so thankful to be blessed with a community that gives of their time, strength and love.

Stuff...continued....

Tomorrow's the day, folks!  The day most of my parents earthly possessions are sold.  (I've been at THE FARM all week preparing and I'll share the wrap-up next week.)  But just know that this day is both joyful and tearful.
I have spent 13 months of my life to get to this point.
13 months of sweat, tears, joy and pain so sharp I almost couldn't breathe.
13 months of talking to my family, planning, shipping, setting aside.
13 months of trying to be in two places at once, dealing with two families at once.
13 months of Hubby single-parenting at least one of our kiddos while I had at least one of our kiddos at THE FARM.

If you'd like to come to the sale (and believe me, we have something for everyone...probably three somethings for everyone) here are the details:

11:00AM Saturday, October 13th
Mercer Rec Center in Mercer, ND - I'd give you the address but there isn't one.  Just drive the three streets of Mercer until you see it.

The ladies from the church where I grew up are serving lunch.  After 22 years of eating their food, I can GUARANTEE you it will be delicious.  And if LeeAnn made her ham salad, you'll have to fight me for the last sandwich.

I and Hubby will be there and would love to shake your hand and hug your neck, because that's just what we do in Mercer, ND.

I'm sure I'll laugh and I'm sure I'll cry.  Probably at the same time...

Fall Kiddos

The Kiddos have been very busy playing this fall!

Yes, that is an egg basket on her head.  Her job this fall has been to gather the eggs every evening.  She gets a sticker for that and for any other time she helps with another big job.  She's working toward a princess dress (this is NOT encouraged by her mother) and when her chart is full she can pick one out.  She says when she grows up she's going to be a princess and a teacher.

Somedays he's John Wayne, somedays he's Matt Dillon, somedays he's Gil Favor...but he's always a cowboy.  The other day he woke up and said in his oh-so-sleepy voice, "Mama, today...today is going to be a cowboy day."  Just like every other day for that boy.

And this one.  Oh my, this one.  Hubby and I agree that our house would be pretty quiet without this one.  She is just MORE.  More loud, more destructive, more messy, more sweet, more laughter, more happiness....MORE!  She lives life at full speed.  I said just this morning that she only sits down for 10 minutes a day, the five minutes before she takes a nap and goes to bed.

These three have been doing some awfully hard playing.  We've got bumps and scrapes and bruises to prove it!  But we also have laughter and giggles, and "guess what Mama??".

And we have frogs...

How to Get Kids to Work

A question I'm often asked is "How do you get your kids to work?"  Granted, I've only been a mother for a little over 4 years now, but I do have some pretty good helpers.  They are joyful and willing, even if not entirely competent.

First, explain what you are going to do.  Hubby is great at this.  He is very patient and very thorough.  (And even though these qualities sometimes irritate his just-get-it-done wife, they are great in a father-of-young-helpers.)

Second, we do the work with them.  And we talk about working together as a family, how important it is, how fun it is, and how necessary it is for our farm to function.

The kids know they are doing an important work.  These jobs are not punishment for wrong-doing, they are necessary to our existence.  

{Sidenote:  We do not use chores as a punishment in our house.}

And with this model, even the littlest one WANTS to help with chores.

Tuesday Tidbit - Who Says??

Who says pigs don't eat forage??

Grazed on the left, ungrazed on the right.

Hubby always asks, "How do the pigs look?"

And I say, "Delicious."